Intimate vs Full Guest List
At the time of this recording, we are in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic. For many engaged couples, that means reexamining their guest lists to accommodate what was safe and/or allowed. But even outside of this pandemic, this decision and topic is important. In this episode Sara and I are determined to share with you all the wonderful things that make a small or intimate guest list great, but also the pitfalls and stresses of it. The great thing is that there is the alternative; hosting a celebration for your full guest list. That doesn't mean that there are any less or more pitfalls and stresses that come with tying the knot with every single person you hold near and dear. Basically, we know that BOTH options are great, and this is a topic that you really do have to sit down and think of the pros and cons. As a logistics expert who’s also creative, Sara brings a rare combination of skills and savviness to wedding planning. After growing up surrounded by weddings as the daughter of a minister, Sara founded Bella Notte in 2004. She quickly found her passion for planning the kinds of weddings that modern couples in Washington, DC were looking for; stylish and sophisticated while also being creative, quirky, edgy and fun. In her 18 year career, Sara has worked with all varieties of clientele in the DC area, where she has consistently been named one of Washington’s Best Wedding Planners. Her work has been featured in countless news outlets, including Martha Stewart Weddings, People, & Vanity Fair. Of her career, Sara says, “I’m most proud of the fact that I approach every wedding I design as a distinct reflection of my clients’ personalities. I love getting to know each couple and creating an event more personal, and more fun, than they ever could have envisioned!”
According to Sara, your guest count decision is one of the most important and early decisions that you have to make, because it affects everything else related to the wedding. It's so important that it might be the first thing you have to decide, even before the venue. If you're going to invite 300 people, you must have space for accommodating that amount of people. If you're planning to invite only 40, there are going to be other options. If you do something smaller than that, then you go toward a non-traditional route and you can even be in places not considered as a wedding venue.
Full Guest List:
Pros:
Sara says that she loves a big party. At the end of the day, there is something to be said about having everyone that you love, all of your family members, friends, and people you care about at your one place.
You will never have another opportunity in your life to bring everyone that you love, closer to you at one place. This is your opportunity to do that.
A wedding is something we all value, no matter which culture it is. So this is your time to say 'Hey everybody, come celebrate with us'.
A big party is cooler in the sense that it allows more friendships to bloom and allows more people to come in closer together.
You do not have to cross people off and hurt people's feelings if you're planning to go all out and have a bigger party.
One of the things couples want, according to Sara, is a bigger and raging dance party so a bigger guest count is more favorable for that. The more people you have, the more chances are that you will get big party vibes. Also, if you have a large dance floor, in order to get images from various angles, you have to have a bigger guest count.
You have to keep in mind that while planning a wedding with a bigger guest count, the vendor count should be proportional as well.
Typically, if you have more than 180 people, you need 3 people in your photography and cinematography teams as you need people in different spaces to cover it all.
The bigger your wedding is, the lower your cost is going to be per person as the total cost would be spread over a large sum of guests. It is going to be more cost effective.
Cons:
It takes a lot of time to move a group of 200 people and even more time to move a larger group. When people are moving from one place to another, it's going to take a lot of transition time.
Also, a larger guest count requires more money and is costly. You have to increase the wedding budget, which is not suitable for everyone. So you do really want to think about what is realistic and more important to you.
Having a large guest list will eliminate most of your venue options with a smaller guest space.
The other negative thing is that it can be difficult to customize or personalize with a bigger guest count.
Your guest experience is something your guests will take away at the end of your wedding so you have to do everything that will facilitate that experience.
The last drawback is that you're not going to be able to sit down and talk in depth with your guests if it is a bigger wedding.
Intimate Guest List:
Pros:
Sara says that at the end of the day, we want your wedding to be fun and special and smaller weddings give you more space or options to do that.
Industry wise, a micro wedding is less than 50 guests. It allows you to be more intimate and go more of a personalized route.
If you're considering doing a bigger party later, it is advisable to go the small wedding route.
There are some cultures where the legal ceremony is smaller and then you have the bigger party.
Small weddings are cooler in a way that you can have as much time as you want to have together and just be with one another. You can get ready together, have more special moments together and it’s super fun.
You get to spend quality time with people who are there for you.
The best word to describe a small wedding, according to Sara is they're 'magical'. There is a different vibe at different times as your nearest and dearest ones are closer to you.
You know your crowd, and you can definitely splurge on things when you have a small wedding to make it more intimate.
If your families didn't have the opportunity to meet ahead of time, you can do a variety of things to get people to interact with one another.
In the end, the thing we can say without hesitation is that a smaller wedding has more opportunity. With a smaller wedding, the world is your oyster.
Small weddings are more amazing in a way that you can book any of your favorite venues.
Cons:
You're going to spend less in total, but you're going to have to pay more per guest who's invited.
Some people say it's a small event, we can manage it on our own. But it's a mistake. Even with smaller weddings you have to hire proper vendors and a wedding planner.
You're omitting a ton of people, so you're going to hurt the feelings of a lot of people. Sara recommends doing zoom calls as a hack to tackle this problem so everyone feels invited.
You can never have the packed dance floor feeling of a bigger wedding party which is important to some people.
Pop-up Wedding:
A pop up wedding is where you get to have a ceremony that is with 10-12 guests. There's a full floral backdrop for your wedding, you get a bouquet, a boutonniere, an officiant, a photographer and a videographer. You get 90 minutes for your ceremony to happen and that's it. The rest of your day is up to you to decide.
Ultimately, what’s best for you is going to depend upon your personal preferences. So you, as a couple, have to sit down and talk to each other about what it is that you are most comfortable with and what makes you the happiest.
Places to go and People to see:
To listen to this podcast in it’s entirety, you can visit here.
Places to go and People to see:
Website: KellyMcWilliams.com
Instagram: @kellyamcwilliams @thisvsthatweddingpodcast
Sarah with Bella Notte: Co-Hosts Website
Sarah with Bella Notte: Co-Host Instagram
All Podcast Episodes: Here.