Finding the Perfect Officiant
I know you have a lot on your plate and lots of vendors to book, but don’t forget about the one that is actually going to make things official on your wedding day. An officiant is one of the many vendors that you’re going to need. While you do need someone there to legally bring you together, an officiant can also fill a more religious or spiritual role too.
There are many different types of officiants for you to choose from, including priests, pastors, and rabbis, but you can also be married by a civil officiant such as a court clerk, magistrate or judge. You may even have a friend or family member who’s ordained. If you’re trying to decide if you want to do a family officiant or not, you can also listen in to our podcast This Vs That Wedding Podcast. Episode 16 covers this topic in more detail with co-host Cinnamon from Aloha Film Works.
How to choose the perfect officiant
So, you know you need one, but what should you look for? Here are a few tips to get you started.
- First things, first — Start your search. After you’ve agreed on the type of officiant you want to marry you, it’s time to begin the search for the right person. A good place to start is to ask family and friends for referrals or recommendations. As a wedding planner, I can offer lots of recommendations from various officiants I have worked with in the past. If you choose to use a friend or family member, be sure that they’re comfortable speaking in front of others and would actually like to be a part of your wedding.
- Setup a meeting. If you’re choosing an officiant that is already a part of your church or spiritual community, setting up a meeting is more about discussing the day than getting to know them. If you’re choosing someone you’ve never met before, it’s important to set up a meeting so that you can decide if they’re the right fit for you as a couple. As most of my couples are doing a destination wedding, you can do this over the phone or via a video call.
- Discuss what will be said. I do not recommend letting the officiant completely plan the ceremony alone. It is your wedding and you’ll want to know the general outline and talk through any important parts you want included. There may also be other dynamics (family, etc) that you want to make sure are or are not mentioned. An example is if you would prefer the officiant to not make silly jokes, you need to mention this to them ahead of time. Consider the vibe of your wedding and with 2 decades of wedding experience, I’m here to help if you’re unsure.
- Always have a backup. Life happens and your officiant could get sick or cancel, so it is a good idea to have a backup. Having a backup will also place a little less pressure on you in the days leading up to your wedding. Often the officiant will have something written into his/her contract about this, but it doesn’t hurt to discuss in advance - just in case.
Your officiant should always be someone who you are both completely comfortable with and who is well suited to you as a couple. Don’t rush your decision - it’s an important one. If you still have questions, don’t forget that I’m just an e-mail or DM away.
